this is a sad day
by pumpkindog
Summary: this is a team fortress 2 A.U. it has a lot of character deaths and is pretty depressing. I threw in some comedy to liven it up. But most of the main characters WILL die. so i wouldn't pick a favorite if i were you.
1. Chapter 1

"so this is the place," i thought to myself as i looked up at a large building with the word red painted on the front. As I walked up to it, two large sentry guns appeared out of nowhere behind me. No place to run if this didn't go well. "umm, I'm here for the job opening!" i called out. After a few seconds, the door in front of me opened up and a man in a construction worker's hat and overalls walked up to me. "you best stand still, or there won't be much left of you when those sentries go off, boy,'' he said in a calm but menacing voice. He was definitely from texas. "MMMM MMMMMM!" a man in what i can only describe as a full body gas mask yelled as he ran out the door and handed me a rubber duck. "pyro! I zaid not to talk to him unless we knew he wazn't from blu team!" a man in a lab coat was yelling as he ran out the door after the man named pyro. "So who's the wanker that's gettin' put on our team?" asked an australian man as he also came out the door. "I told ya'll to stay put!" the man in the overalls yelled. "WHERE IS SHASHA!?" a behemoth of a man boomed as he ran out the doorway with a sandwich in his hand. "WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!?" he yelled at me.

"who?" I asked as politely as i could. I certainly didn't want to be on this guys bad side. he could probably snap my spine in under two seconds. "OW!" i said as a baseball hit me on the forehead. "Hey knucklehead!" a man who I'm guessing is from new jersey yelled from one of the windows. "i'm talking to you!". he then threw another baseball at me, which i dodged. "you got any gum?" he asked.

"Well, no, not at the moment," i called up to him.

"aw crap," he said, stepping away from the window.

" Welcome," a french man with a mask that only hid his eyes and mouth said to me.

"Sorry about ze harsh velcome!" the lab coated man said to me while trying to calm pyro down. "welcome to the team, I guess" said the overalled man gloomily. "i _really_ wanted to test out that new sentry gun before the next fight," he added in an undertone. I could tell that this was the start of a beautiful friendship. Hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

"WE'VE WON, MEDALS FOR EVERYONE!" the soldier was yelling. We'd won. Blu team had been beaten in the race out of the underworld. They weren't dead, but they were down there somewhere. Never to be seen or heard from again. The pyro was going around hugging everyone, and the demoman was absolutely hammered. "EYE, DO YE NOT KNOW TO PUT A GOOD HAT ON YER NOGGIN'!?". He was arguing with the heavy again. "bald is beautiful!" the heavy exclaimed.

"We all remember the "Elvis" phase," the scout whispered to me. We _never_ speak about the "Elvis Presley" phase in front of heavy. He'd snap your neck if you did. I have to admit, i was just as sad as i was happy. This was it for us. After we packed up and had a few parties, it would be time to say goodbye. But tonight was a time for joy, we had _won!_ Just then, the intercom came on. it was the announcer. "THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!" she said. " YOU MUST DEFEND MANN CO. TO THE DEATH,". the intercom turned off, and we all just looked at each other for a moment. Then it turned on again. "OH, AND I WON'T LIE TO YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE," she finished. "Aw, hell!" the engineer yelled as he pulled out his shotgun from his suitcase.

"Come, Sasha, we have work to do!" heavy said as he picked up his giant minigun. "EH BLEHGURFIGENDURGENBURGER!" demo yelled before he passed out.

"Maybe demo should sit this one out," i said.

"Zat vould be best," Medic said as he pulled a large gun from his violin case. This was the medigun, the thing that had probably saved our lives more times than there were days in the year. The medic was a nice guy, but he had a warped mind. He was a little scary at times. "Bloody wankers,ruining all the fun," the sniper said under his breath. "MMM?" the pyro asked as he walked up to me. "um, yes," i answered. I never really knew what the pyro was ever saying, so i answered with random statements. I grabbed my shotgun(this is not a TF2 shotgun, if you want to know what mine looks like, then get on google and look up half life 2 shotgun) and walked out the door with the rest of the team. "OUTA MY WAY! OUTA MY WAY!" the engineer yelled as he placed sentries, teleporters, and dispensers all over the place. I looked back and saw the sniper climbing up to his post. We were ready. "YOU, YES YOU, YOU ARE DEAD!" the heavy yelled as we saw the first wave of them coming at us. "let's waste 'em!" the scout said.

"YOU MAGGOTS!" the soldier yelled. Me and scout began to run toward the enemy, our guns raised. We then realized just how many snipers the robots had. All equipped with bows and arrows. Just then, a barrage of arrows came flying at us. One hit scout, pinning him to a wall. "SCOUT!" i yelled. Then one hit me in the stomach just as i saw one fly straight into scout's face. He went limp. I was about to fall over when the medic ran by. He shot me with a healing needle, and the wound closed up. It was all he could spare, because he was uber charging heavy with the medigun. "LOOK AT YOU LITTLE BABIES, RUNNING FROM SANDVICH!" heavy yelled as he and the medic ran by. When the uber ended, i realised that there was a little red dot on my forehead. "MOVE!" the medic yelled as he pushed me out of the way. As i fell, i saw his face go white, heard a gunshot, and the medic was no more. I looked at heavy and saw a single tear run down his face. "This is last straw," he said. He started to walk toward me. Was he going to kill me? He looked down at my wound and handed me his sandwich. "Eat this, is healthy for you!" he said cheerfully. "Now, we must fight," heavy said. We worked our way through their ranks, destroying every robot we saw. We were soon joined by the soldier, who took pleasure in smashing their heads with his shovel. But we were soon overwhelmed by three robotic heavys. "Go," heavy said. "i will take care of little babies,". me and soldier started to run back to the base. hopefully, demo was awake, and we could plan a counter attack with him, sniper, pyro, engineer, and spy. I then made the mistake of looking back. Heavy was being pummeled by two of the robo heavys. One was making it's way toward us. Soldier was out of ammo for his rocket launcher, so we both only had shotguns. Well, soldier had a shotgun, mine was jammed and all i had was a small pistol. "Just run," i told soldier. "give me your shotgun and GO!" i yelled. He threw it to me and started sprinting back to the base. "suicide wasn't exactly on my to-do list for today," i thought as the giant heavy loomed over me.


	3. Chapter 3

"Listen, you _fat. bald. bastard,_ i said to the robo heavy. "You just killed a close friend of mine, and that is _not_ a safe place to stand,". I sounded braver than i felt. This thing was two times my size, and probably even stronger than heavy. What could my measly shotgun do? That's when i had an idea. I needed to draw it into range of the engineer's sentries. I started sprinting toward the base, but it was right on my heels. I was relieved when i heard the familiar beeping sound of a sentry. As we both came into range, i fell flat on the ground, and heard a rapid barrage of gunshots and rockets turn the robo heavy into scrap metal. I then proceeded to run inside to look for demo, or anyone else for that matter. "Please tell me they're still alive," i thought. I heard demo snoring in the next room, so i knew he was at least still alive. "You best start prayin' boy," i heard the engineer say as he held a pistol to my head. "whoa whoa whoa!" i said quickly. "It's just me!".

"oh, good," he said. "i thought it was just me, soldier, and sniper left".

"what about pyro?" i asked.

"he followed ya'll out into the battle".

Did that mean pyro was dead as well? No. I wouldn't believe it. Not pyro. He was too tough to be killed by a few robots. "Did you get them all?" engineer asked.

"I think so," i said. "but we lost medic, heavy, and scout".

"Sorry to hear that," he said. "but there's another outpost that we need to protect, and before we even do _that_ , we need to retrieve and bury the bodies of our comrades," he finished.

"can't believe this had to happen today," sniper said as he walked into the room. "Well, happy Australia day to me, i guess". We were taking the loss of our friends pretty hard. But the worst part was that we would have to do all this again. We walked out onto the battlefield and started retrieving the bodies. Me and sniper were parred up to look for pyro. when we found him, he was lying on the ground with three arrows through his gut. He was still alive, but his breathing came in short wheezes, and his goggles were cracked. "everything's going to be alright, mate," the sniper said, trying to comfort pyro. I got down on my knees beside pyro to examine the wound. definitely fatal. And there was no medic to heal him. not this time. I looked at his mask, and my curiosity got the better of me. I needed to know what was under there. As i grasped his mask, i felt pyro's hand grab my arm. He then grabbed his flare gun. I had touched his mask, and now he was going to kill me. Why did i have to be so stupid!? But then, he pushed the gun into my hand. He was giving me his lucky flare gun. This thing had once saved his life. I remember it like it was yesterday. we were on lookout at the bridge, and scout came by, saying that he was here to take our post and that we could leave. I was relieved, i wanted nothing more than get out of the boiling sun. I couldn't believe that pyro could stand being in that suit all the time. As i turned and walked away, i heard the familiar wooshing sound of a spy removing his disguise. I turned around and whipped out my pistol. A blu spy was about to backstab pyro. It didn't look like pyro had noticed, until he pulled out his flare gun and turned around. The spy looked surprised to have a gun in his face. But the surprise soon turned to a look of utter horror. The flare was shot into the spy's face, and he was engulfed in flames. He fell of the bridge screaming into the water below. "are you alright?" i asked pyro. "MMMM MMM," he answered as he sat down. "mate, you alright?" the sniper said, bringing me back to the present. Pyro was dead. So was most of the other team. That's why it surprised even me what i said next. "yeah, I'm alright," i said I realized that tears were now mixing in with the sweat on my face. I hurriedly wiped my face on my sleeve. Had the sniper seen me crying? Pyro, he was always the nicest. giving everyone hugs, or baby ducks, or even candy. Why did _he_ have to die? Why pyro?


	4. Chapter 4

**ONE MONTH LATER**

We had defended base after base, and it seemed as if this war was drawing to a close. We were going to lose. At least, none of us had died yet(not since the first day of the war at least). Although, spy abandoned us during the "first wave" as we like to call it. Demo swore not to drink a single drop of alcohol until this was all over. Things weren't looking good for soldier either. He was losing his sanity. He constantly talked to his shovel in low whispers, and would sometimes look up and glare at us after talking to shovel. Engineer would always talk about how he should have gone with spy, how he never should have agreed to this job. I just wanted to make it out alive, and sniper thought the same thing. We had buried our comrade's bodies back at the first base that the machines attacked. I still hadn't used the pyro's flare gun yet. Only one shot left in it. I had to make that one flare count. "so, where are we going next?" i asked engineer. "We're headin' to the medic's place," he said.

"Mates!" sniper yelled. "i've got an idea to bring back those wankers from blu team!".

"And _why_ would we want ta' bring back those two-bit sons of-," demo began, but engineer cut him off. "I see what yer gettin' at," he said. " _they_ would want to take those things down just as much as _we_ do".

"so how do we bring them back?" i asked.

"it's simple really, we just need to go down there and grab 'em," sniper said.

"but how do we _get_ down there?" i asked, starting to get annoyed.

"just a few satanic rituals," he said calmly.

"UM, HOW ABOUT NO," i said.

"yeah, i ain't performin' no satanic rituals," engineer exclaimed.

"fine, ya bloody wankers!" sniper yelled. "i'll go do it myself!". I have to admit, it was a pretty good plan, but i wasn't going to perform _satanic rituals_ just to bring back the jerks that we left down there. All of a sudden, there was a loud crash and a buzzing sound. "Sniper!" i yelled. He had opened up a portal to the underworld, and was dancing the conga around it. "well, c'mon, i don't have all day!" he yelled. suddenly, a blu scout ran out of the portal. "woohooohoo!" he yelled. Then one after the other, blu team members came out of the portal. "alright, ya bloody mongrels," sniper said. "you're gonna have to help us out, or we're putting you right back in there".

"YOU MAGGOTS!" soldier yelled as he ran into the room. "THIS IS _MY_ WORLD! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN _MY_ WORLD!". He then proceeded to bash the blu engineer's skull into the ground. "Hey, somebody stop him!" the blu scout yelled. The blu soldier then stopped red soldier and hit him in the back of the head with his frying pan. "whoa, what happened to your soldier?" i asked.

"he started buddhism," blu scout said. "he's really mellowed out". just then, the sniper pulled out his SMG and pointed it at my head. "i'll bloody your head all over four counties, mate," he said menacingly. "you think we'd join up with _you_ , just cause you helped us out a little? I backed up into a corner and pulled out my shotgun. There were too many of them. I was going to be killed by the entire blu team.


End file.
